Monday, December 8, 2008

Just 16 Shopping Days ‘til Christmas

This is the time of year when family and friends ask that all intriguing question, “What do you want for Christmas, little boy” (or little girl, or little androgyny).

Yes, deep in my heart I know that it’s the intangible things that are really important this Christmas. Since I don’t work for the Defense Department or a weapons manufacturer or dealer, “Peace on Earth” would be a pretty good gift.

On the other hand, I love toys and stuff. Our house, closets, shed, attic, storage – all full of stuff.
My office is full of stuff that I’ve collected over the years (the photo is just a small, small sample of the stuff I have): Pez, Mad Magazine’s Alfred E. Neuman “What Me Worry?” doll, a shark in a bottle, a quart of tiny treasures and trinkets, a Red Barron’s Fokker, a toy robot, a sprint car, tons of crayons, a beaded turtle Sir Hook brought back from a media trip…

And here’s the sad thing: I can’t get rid of any of it! What I really need for Christmas a bigger place for my stuff. Which reminds me of a rant that our friend George Carlin used to perform. I think it’s a pretty good lesson this time of year on what’s important:

The meaning of life is to find a place for your stuff. And all you need in life, is a little place for your stuff, ya know? I can see it on your table, everybody's got a little place for their stuff.

This is my stuff, that's your stuff, that'll be his stuff over there. That's all you need in life, a little place for your stuff. That's all your house is: a place to keep your stuff. If you didn't have so much stuff, you wouldn't need a house. You could just walk around all the time.
And when you leave your house, you gotta lock it up. Wouldn't want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. That's what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get...more stuff!

Sometimes you gotta move, gotta get a bigger house. Why? No room for your stuff anymore.
Sometimes you gotta put your stuff in storage. There’s a whole industry based on keeping your stuff you don’t have room in your house for.

Did you ever notice when you go to somebody else's house, you never quite feel a hundred percent at home? You know why? No room for your stuff. Somebody else's stuff is all over the goddamn place! Have you noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff? God! And you say, "Get that shit offa there and let me put my stuff down!"

Sometimes you leave your house to go on vacation. And you gotta take some of your stuff with you. Gotta take about two big suitcases full of stuff, when you go on vacation. You gotta take a smaller version of your house.

- - -

And so it goes. Stuff, stuff, and more stuff.

So, all I want for Christmas this year is one of those cards that says, “For the man who has everything, I’m making a donation to ‘Save the (fill in your favorite cause)’ in your name.”

Oh, and maybe one more thing: LOTS OF FUN STUFF!

Sir Bowie of Greenbriar (which is full of stuff)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

So true So true... can't get rid of my stuff...tho someone will have to, one day, i'm sure.

In the mean time send your $$$ checks made paid to 'Carrera Graphics' to me in the UK..

when i get enough i'll register as a charity..The Carrera Graphics Welfare Fund

And Bowie...Hooky should have some more Stuff from me to you and the Mighty Suz..when you meet up on Weds...woohoo .. two silverbacked Alpha males in the same room..yikes....who'll back down first.

Sir D of O

Anonymous said...

My daddy used to give us a card with a note on it "good for..." or "go and choose..." for birthdays and Christmas not because he hated shopping but because he wanted us to choose carefully and mindfully,
what we thought would make us happy.

What I wouldn't give to receive a card from Daddy this Christmas...the second without him here on Earth...many of those gifts remain in my life, but the warmth of his hand and the sound of his voice live on only in my mind and heart.

We have certainly learned the painful way that stuff is just stuff, none of it goes with you in the end, and love is all there really is.

Those of us lucky enough to share love should grab on with both hands, squeeze the stuffing out of each other, and leave all the other stuff on the shelves!

Lady Suzanne of Greenbriar

Sir Hook of Warrick aka "David K Wells" said...

Just think of all the memories and cursing exchanges your family will partake in when your gone and they have to sort through all your STUFF!

That's just one of the joys of collecting STUFF!

That's how I am with Music. I have 12,549 songs. That's 35.2 days of listening without stopping. Do you think I'll ever do that? NO! Do you think I'll stop collecting music? NO!

The joy comes when you have completely forgotten one of those gems and re-discover it when least expected. That's the payoff!

Sir Hook the Keeper of Stuff that is Only Dear to Me of Warrick

Anonymous said...

Stuff,like most things in life, is that weird part of the hunman make-up, that is simply all about ownership and control.

Look around you, its how people operate.

You find something that you Like,"Love",Want,Need, then obtain it, then it is "Yours", you get jealous if someone else has it, as you feel you have lost control of it, you need to be in "control" of it, know where it is stored, or packed away, or safe that you know everything it is doing, while you look around at other stuff, 'empowered' by the fact you are in control of your stuff.

Man...some of the old Egyptians and Ancient Anglo Saxons, even got buried with their "stuff" thinking they could take it with them.

Yeah you ingore it, take it for granted you "own" it, even forget where you put it, and when you find it again, usually after several years, you do get a big warm glow that you "loveit/control" it again, You don't use it, but put it away and ignore it once more, Its "yours" it doesn't have to be on your mind.

Of course to lose it all, brings pain, mainly because of loss of control, of having nothing to show the world, your personality, the marks of your existence, the evidence you are good enough to obtain these things, your 'Vede Macem'..the " course of your Life".

You are quite simply You.

Until you can live with the pain of "loss of Control" and on no other need than food and water, you never are truly yourself.

And heres a thing.....all the great Teachers who the world claims to follow...never had big trunks of "stuff" to leave behind, marked: Mr H. Christ or Mr Buddha, or Mr Mohommad. a few beard whiskers , a few bones.. and that was that. Sure, most of them were life long freeloaders and moochers...but hey maybe that just me with my Conservative "Stuff" talking.....

Most people read this and go yeah, yeah, I know... and climb back in their big controlled Zorbing bubble and roll off.

Its only on the day you let go that you realise you were holding on so tight.

Sir Dayvd ( Talks a good hippy talk, now back away from my Stuff )
of Oxfordshire

Anonymous said...

Possessions are a burden. I have slowly been trying to rid myself of a lot of "stuff" and still I have more stuff. The void I create is then filled by my wife's "shit." Many people ponder what they would save in case of a fire. A lot say their photo albums. I'm a photographer and I look around and say "Doodle" our cat (Assuming my wife can make it out on her own. My wife would just grab the cat). I really don't want to give up any of it. Lots of cool old cameras, newer ones, books, do-dads, blackpowder, civil war, pre 1840s, western .... crap. I want it all. Including the stuff I'm getting for Christmas. I also want to get rid of a goodly portion of it. I just might "need" it at some point. It's a split in myself.

But I am also reminded of a line from the "The Ballad of John And Yoko" to which I was listening on my way to Nashville, TN to buy stuff this past weekend:

Saving up your money for a rainy day,
Giving all your clothes to charity.
Last night the wife said,
"Oh boy, when you're dead
You don't take nothing with you
But your soul - think!"

All this stuff. I don't know where to begin. Perhaps Sir Bowie of Greenbriar will come into possession of a few small things.

Sir James of Taylor off to work for the "man" to afford more "Stuff" like food.