Thursday, December 17, 2009

Union Jack News

Sir Hook's Traveling Medicine Show is back in Columbus, Ohio. I dropped into one of my favorite watering holes...The Pub in Polaris this evening and came across a recent edition of the "Union Jack", America's only national British newspaper.

My fellow patrons wondered if I had just escaped from a mental institution as I laughed my "arse" off while reading the news from the Merry Isles! Here's just a few "Quintessential English" headlines:

Royal Navy Ship Watched As Pirates Took Two Britons

Jenny Earns Titled As 'Loudest Snorer' in Britain

Rare Charles Darwin Book Found on Toilet Bookshelf in Oxford Home

Movie Actors Thought to be Real Football Thugs

Allergy Turns Out to be Man's Own Wife

Baby Back Home with 'Fat Family'

Brits Said to be Ugliest in the World

Margaret's Vacuum Given a Spot in Hall of Hoover History

Britain Has World's Oldest Divorcees , 98

Some Kids Really Think Hitler Was a Football Manager

And my favorite of the bunch reminded me of our fun this past July in London while "Getting Off at Shepherd's Bush"!

LONDON: Underground commuters got a shock last month when instead of train information being broadcast on the tannoy system, they got an earful of a couple apparently making love.
Passengers at West Ham station in east London heard sounds of passion instead of the usual announcements about delays being relayed over platform loudspeakers during the rush hour.
A Transport for London spoksman blamed radio interference-but passengers were not convinced. "It was definitely a couple doing it there and then.", Laura O'Conner told the London Evening Standard newspaper.
"He was grunting loudly and she sounded like she was having a great time. The driver must have heard it, too, as the doors stayed open longer than usual."
However, the Transport for London spoksman insisted: "The noises heard by passengers were not from within our station. We believe they were a result of some sort of interference with our public address system. It certainly wasn't coming from our staff."
He said the station's public address system worked on radio waves and somebody must have been broadcasting on the same wavelength. He said staff turned off the loudspeakers as soon as they realized what was going on.

My only question is....was Sir Dayvd of Oxfordshire around West Ham station last month? Sir Bowie and I remember all too well how he left us at the platform with our ladies in tow on the Central Line!

Sir Hook Who Loves a good English Story of Warrick


Sir Bowie of Greenbriar (a.k.a. David A. Kuhn) said...

Tunnel of Love!

Yes, I too remember the shit-eating grin Sir D had as the doors closed off Hook and me and the train sped off.

Sir Bowie: "What are we going to do?"
Sir Hook: "We passed a pub on the way here."
Sir Bowie: "Yes, let's go for a pint and formulate a plan"

And now you know the rest of the story.

Sir Bowie of "mind the gap at Shepard's Bush" of Greenbriar

Lady Suzanne of Greenbriar said...

ahhhhhh while the guys will drink, the girls will...never tell

Anonymous said...

LOL...I'll never forget the look on your faces we swept off down the tunnel...Me with two beautiful Ladies I had only just met in a you were panicking too much to think of the They were off for a night on the town...took all my strength to make 'em wait for you when we got off..LOL..

yeah you gotta keep up Hooks and B...we move fast in this country..LOL... as they say in the pubs...If youre not fast youre Last

The News Items are spot on... its always weird for me to read news items in the USA.

Sir D ( who'll spirit your Gals away anytime :) Of Oxfordshire