Saturday, January 16, 2010

Hooky's NFL Natural Selection Poll: Season 2-Saturday




Today begins the Divisional Playoffs...the NFL's final 8 teams squaring off for their bid to win this year's Vince Lombardi trophy.



Once again the Sports Pundits at Hooky's NFL Natural Selection Poll take the field to predict the winners of today's two games. Invented by Sir Hook of Warrick last year, Hooky's NFL Natural Selection Poll was more accurate than ESPN's and correctly predicted the final 2 teams for the Super Bowl...only to lose by selected the Cardinals over the Steelers. So, let's get to it.


As you may, or may not recall...Hooky's NFL Natural Selection Poll gives points to each teams logo, cheerleaders, mascot and natural identity to determine overall points. In case of a tie, each team will employ their selected secret weapon to garner points for the final selection.

This afternoon's game features the Arizona Cardinals vs. the New Orleans Saint.




The Cardinals made it all the way to the Super Bowl last year. Let's see how they do today? The Cardinal logo is a classic, and since we are partial to the teams original origins as the St. Louis Cardinals and Kurt Warner was the St. Louis quarterback who took them to the Super Bowl we give them a 10.

Last year, Cardinal Fang, was selected as the natural selection; however, in light of all the controversy in the Catholic Church (and I can speak because I am a Catholic) we selected a real Cardinal. Now, it's quite evident that Cardinals are good at protection, but a center would have to be nervous taking the snaps. And, why is he holding his mitre over his crotch? I give him a 5 at best.

Last years Cheerleader remains on the squad, and remains a "HOT" selection...we give her a 10 for the energetic, smiling, squat with cleavage!

The Mascot personifies the bad ass image of the logo perfectly. Beside, he's cool enough to make the stage with Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas. 10!

Total Arizona Cardinal score = 35



The Saint's Logo is the Classic Fleur de Lis...too French for my taste...which means it gets a 5.

The Cheerleaders "Kick it up a Notch" with their saucy Cajun Spice! As I was once told on a business trip to Louisiana, "You've never had a woman until you've had a Cajun woman!" 10!

The Saint of New Orleans is Saint Louis IX. He was one kick ass French King who led two Crusades and died on the second one. For blending Church and State, with a little muscle to boot, we give St. Louis a 10!

OK, so you don't want to show up at the stadium dressed like a Saint, so enter GUMBO, the dog Mascot named after the classic Cajun dish. I like Gumbo, so we'll give them a 9!

The New Orleans Saints total score = 34


Being totally unbiased, my favorite team enters the playoffs tonight against the Ravens. The Colts logo is simple and powerful, yet not as creative as others. The iron horse shoe has conquered the world and helped me to pass away the summers in backyards across the country for decades. 9!

The Cheerleaders get better every year. The past decade as seen them transform from Midwest Chic to Ride Em Hard and Put Them Up Wet! 10!

What personifies energy better than a Colt! Try and catch me if you can! 10!

The one miscue for the team is the Mascot. Of course, how do you do a Colt? They go for comic relief, but it doesn't quite say, "I'll Kick Your Ass". 7!

Indianapolis Colts total score = 36



The Baltimore Ravens play football like their bird...dirty, aggressive and enjoying carnage! Their logo combines elements of the States Coat of Arms, designed by the English Catholics who founded the State named after Mary. Coat of Arms are cool...10!

The cheerleaders are also down and dirty...Baltimore style, yet, lack the full attention that other squads inspire...we give them a 7.

The Raven are named because of Baltimore native, Edgar Allen Poe. The Raven is one tough bird, but still rates lower on the natural selection scale compared to an eagle or hawk. 8!

The Ravens mascot gets it right. Cuddly yet Kick Ass! 9!

The Baltimore Ravens total score = 34


So, the Saturday Results are in:

Cardinals 35 vs Saints 34 : Cardinals WIN a close one!

Colts 36 vs Ravens 34 : Colts WIN!

Sir Hook, Founder of the Hooky NFL Natural Selection Poll, of Warrick





2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sorry I go for Smash Mouth Ravens over Faultering Colts
24 - 17.

and Vikings over Arizona by 2 points.

no reason just like the purple colour LOL...

Sir D ( who is now just about to piant the City Red!!!!!) of O

Sir Hook of Warrick aka "David K Wells" said...

Sorry Sir D....because the Stooges at the Hooky NFL Natural Selection Poll had the wrong match up, you can't pick the Vikings over the Cards today.

We have corrected the match up, with the Cards still taking the Victory by the same margin of the Saints.

Sir Hook Who's Still Looking for That Missing Gene of Warrick