Is It Cold Enough, Part 2

Further to Sir Lance's blog on whether it was cold enough outside, watching the Saturday NFL Round Up programme the other week.... I came across an amusing diversion called The NFL Top 10 which was a list of the greatest bad weather games of all time. It was a blast.

There was the Freezer Bowl between the Cincinnati Bengals and the San Diego Chargers in 1982, when the wind chill factor amounted to a reading of -59F.

Side judge Dave Parry said he got so close to one of the pitch side heaters he burned his hair, clothes and eyebrows and didn’t even notice.

The next season, New England Patriots and Miami Dolphins played the Snow Plough Game, which was won when Patriots coach Ron Meyer ordered a John Deere Model 314 tractor on to the pitch to clear a path for his place kicker John Smith to make the only score of the game. The NFL later outlawed the use of ploughs during a match.

Top spot went to the 1967 Championship Game, or the Ice Bowl as it is known, between the Green Bay Packers and Dallas Cowboys. Not taking wind chill into account temperatures dropped as low as -25F during play, the whistle froze to the referee’s lips and members of the band were taken to hospital with hypothermia. There were other games played in blizzards, some in torrents of rain. This would have been whiskery ground to NFL fans but, to a novice like me, it was great fun.

And I thought of it the other day when bad weather all but wiped out England’s domestic fixture programme. Not because American sportsmen braved worse conditions, but because spectators did.

There were 50,861 at the Ice Bowl, 46,302 braved the Freezer Bowl, while 500 volunteer fans received 10 dollars and a free ticket to help clear the stands for the thousands who watched the Snow Plough game.

America, as we know, has some highly litigious citizens. A cup of coffee served at the wrong temperature can turn into a million-dollar law suit. So how is it that these legendary bad weather matches — and one of the NFL top 10 dated from 2001 — went ahead when in England a frosty pavement within a five-mile radius of the stadium provokes a telephone call to the Premier League?

I've often wondered why they play the Superbowl Final in the depths of Winter, ( so it doesn't clash with Baseball i suppose ?) But could it be that followers of American sport accept a degree of personal responsibility when going to a game? And is it not also true that, given the opportunity and less official interference, ours would, too?

Sir D ( who tips his hat to mad USA sports fans ) of O

England Invaded by Suicide Snow Bombers: Oxfordshire Hit First

January 9, 2010, Oxford UK: Residents of this quintessential English shire, having just survived a historical snow storm which dropped 15 inches on the countryside, are now dealing with the real threat behind the storm.

Al Qaeda spokesman, Bin Salad Flem, contacted Scotland Yard yesterday and took full responsibility for planning this sinister attack on the UK. Flem stated, “We have been conducting a secret operation under the indoor snow skiing facility in Dubai, where we developed the ability to create snow that hits the ground and forms into an angry mob of miniature Suicide Snow Bombers.”

Paddy Smith, a sign maker from Banbury, was the first victim of this sinister plan. He was attacked while installing a sign on one of his client’s buildings. Immediately he quit working and started to plan a community snowball fight and Tea Tray sledding competition to be held today.

In a statement from Scotland Yard, Detective Kenton Wells said, “Apparently the idea of the attack is not to kill, but to unleash the dormant desire to give up all responsibility, drink excessively and generally act like a silly twit skipping school to play in the snow. The intention is clear, Al Qaeda wants to reduce our stiff upper lip mentality into sniveling, self-absorbed, childish behavior; therefore, bringing our economy to a screeching halt and making our Island easier to invade.”

Bin Salad Flem, released a second statement after hearing Scotland Yard’s response. He said, “Once the population is reduced to pre-adolescent behavior and we invade the Island, our plan is to take over all businesses, banks, open Islamic schools to indoctrinate the masses and make Kabob stands available where Fish N Chips shops once stood.”

When Smith was asked about this plan he said, “Who cares! I haven’t had this much fun since I was expelled from Abingdon for not wearing my school uniform when I was 15 years old!”

The leader of the Suicide Snow Bombers, who only goes by the name, The Abominable One, has trained his cold-hearted minions to yell just before striking their innocent victims, “Silence! I thrill you!”

Reported by Sir Hook of Warrick